Top 10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear in a Public Toilet

10. ‘Does this look too red to you?’

9. ‘That’s one crunchy urinal cake.’

8. ‘Make like Tay Tay and shake me off.’

7. ‘Daddy, buy me another strawberry balloon.’

6. ‘Elvis has entered the building!’

5. ‘In-Progress: penis inspection.’

4. ‘Oh, hello, George Michael.’

3. ‘Don’t get up – I just forgot my cocaine.’

2. ‘I’m calling to inquire about Eric’s “24/7 Pineapple Party”?’

1. ‘That looks heavy as a Christmas ham.’